July 24, 2015
I’ve been reflecting on the last nine months of stand-up, pleased to discover that it seems to be transforming the way I interact with the world. Having spent decades being afraid of hurting people’s feelings and disappointing them; decades of keeping quiet, denying my feelings and hoping for the best; decades spent not asking for what I needed or sticking up for myself.
But like I said, my beliefs are beginning to shift.
Backhanded compliments and soft insults that once bent me out of shape seem to be easily dusted off of my shoulders. I feel lighter and more at ease. So far this week I’ve hit three mics. Tonight will be another two, and one tomorrow. Six in one week –wow! It feels so good heading home after speaking my mind for four and a half minutes…or seven…or eight, and the occasional banter and criticism I receive from the douschier comics just doesn’t seem to stick anymore.
Preparing for an upcoming post class performance show at The Stand is one of the reasons I’ve stepped up my game — that and choosing to walk away from a relationship that wasn’t meeting my needs (and was bumming me out), has given me a new sense of purpose and belief in myself.
I’m beginning to feel like a benevolent badass.