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Follow-up on Mercy Machine; cancelling my debut

October 21, 2014


I sent the woman (who’d inquired about my play) a follow-up email confirm she’d received the copy of my plan and links to website/blog. She said she had, and we set up a time today to speak.

During our conversation she talked more about the project.

About 30 minutes into the call, I asked her if she’d read the play or taken a look at the links I sent her. She said she hadn’t. What? I wanted to tell her that I thought that’s what this call was supposed to be about — wasn’t that clear from my email? Again, she told me that she’d love to have me meet her team, but didn’t specify when, and I didn’t push. She repeated that she was looking forward to meeting next week and thanked me for making time for her. I’m really annoyed at myself for letting the conversation go on so long.

We’ll see. I’m cautiously hopeful.

On the performing front, I’d intended to go to The Moth this evening. I had a piece I’d been rehearsing all week. It’s about forgiveness…about my experience with a medical issue that I didn’t think was a big deal, but the specialists wanted more and more tests. Finally, they sent my medical record to my employer (I work for a health clinic). It was addressed to no one, and thankfully it was handed to me directly (my manager knew I’d gone to that particular specialist). I’d called the major medical center to complain and ask why my confidential information had been sent to my place of work.

So the story I’d intended to tell — very personal, the experience — fresh.

I balked — or–rather–my body didn’t comply. I’ve been home all day because my Achilles was a-killin’ me (an injury that occurred over the summer and has flared up due to me overexerting myself).

This makes two opportunities to get in front of an audience–I’ve balked. Speaking to my friend Danusia (an actress and a Moth Storyslam winner) tonight and she gently advised me not to be too hard on myself, that maybe it wasn’t time for this story to be told to such a large audience.

Maybe she’s right.

I asked her if she’d ever balked at performing. She said that had never happened to her. Now I’m thinking that performing isn’t something that’s really for me; wouldn’t I be doing it by now if it was the right thing?

More later…

xoxo KK

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